Tuesday, September 13, 2011

There is a silver lining right?

I am getting really sick of dealing with IF when it seems that no matter how hard we try we keep hitting road blocks.  Though I know our road blocks are not as giant as others, they still suck.

I had my egg retreval yesterday.   The numbers weren't quite as high as I would've liked.   They were able to get 15 eggs out of the 20 follicles.  This is definitely not horrible, but I wish it was higher.  Because of low sperm count, the lab had to preform ICSI again (inserting sperm directly into egg).  This should have about an 80% fertilization rate with "normal" sperm and eggs.   Well I found out today only 9 out of the 15 eggs fertilized, or about 60% (how about those math skills?).   I don't know if it is protocol or lack of confidence, but the clinic scheduled me for a three day transfer on Thursday.   In order to not do this, I need 6 growing embryos.   I'm totally petrified that this won't happen.  If it doesn't, the clinic better be ready for a fight.

There is no way that I am going in and doing a 3dt again.  It didn't work the first time, so I'm not doing it again.  I don't care if only one embryo survives to Saturday, that is going to be transfer day.   By doing a 3dt,  I feel like we are all just going through the motions to get to  negative result (the day before my birthday).  I refuse to do that again, and I don't really care what the clinic has to say about it.  

This is our last IVF with this clinic and our third (out of 6) chance, and I absolutely refuse to just throw it away.  With such low numbers, something has to be wrong quality wise, even if the doctor doesn't believ it.

All I can hope is that the 9 embies that we have continue to grow strong.   If they don't, the clinic better prepare to deal with stubborn hormonal me.

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