Gotta get down on Friday! Okay now I officially know that I need to stop teaching seventh grade!
Anyways onto the news, my frozen embryo transfer is officiall scheduled for Friday! We are hoping to transfer two of our frozen embryos. Our RE said that it is possible that only one (or none :( ) could make it through thaw. We are really trying not to think about that right now.
We have to be at the office for 11 and then I am on bed rest for Friday and Saturday. I am making a lasagna on Thursday for Sean to cook on Friday. Hopefully this means that there will be food to eat. After Saturday, I just have to take it easy. Dang, no work outs for me? Really? I don't know how I will survive. :)
After the transfer, the waiting game begins again. Any thoughts, prayers, positive thoughts you can spare for us is greatly appreciated. I will update after the transfer on Friday.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
Family? Yes! Pregnancy? ??
I have been going to see an infertility therapist (A) for the last few weeks. Good news, she told me I am not crazy (hard for some of you to believe, I know) and I am actually dealing with all the infertility very logically and actually pretty well. At my last appointment, A asked me a question that sort of caused me to stumble. What do you want more a family or a newborn?
I have never been opposed to adoption, but I never thought of it this way. Would I be okay if I could get my family without getting pregnant? Or even without having a young baby? As of right now, I am saying yes. While I have long dreamed about getting pregnant and delivering a biological baby, I don't think I would be totally depressed if I had to by pass this step. Would I miss the excitement of telling my family and the first few days with a new born? Of course, but I know my family and friends would show me just as much excitement if I announced we adopted. I know my colleagues would be just as excited to see my adopted child as they would be to see a biological child. After talking with A, I realized there is so many more important things that create family than biology.
I cannot wait to see my child's excitement as she participates in an activity she loves. I can't wait to be able to share some of the things that I love so much: theatre, dance, reading. I can't wait for the first day of school, as well as spending all summer together at Meme's pool (which hopefully will be up and running soon). I can't wait to see my child fall in love, graduate from high school, graduate from college, get married. Not one of these things would be less special or less important because the child wouldn't be "biologically" mine. The child would be mine and together we would experience all sorts of experience.
The child's first (of many) trips to Disney would not be any less special. He won't be any less excited to see Mickey for the first time or to ride the monorail with Dad to get away from Mom. My child's struggles and hardships won't be any easier. It will still be one of the most difficult things for me to see my child cry and be hurt by the people around him.
It is all these experiences (plus so many more) that help to build and solidify a family. It is these experiences, for better or worse, that I crave to experience. No matter how a child comes into our lives, whether they are born in my body or simply born in our hearts, this child will become an integral and important part of family. Definitely no questions asked.
All this being said, Sean and I are just not ready to give up on having our biological child yet. We have decided to take two of our embryos that were frozen during the last IVF and transfer them. Though frozen embryo transfers (FET) have slightly lower chances of being successful, there is still enough chance for it to happen that we are moving forward. I have been taking the necessary pills (estrace) since last week. If all goes as planned, we will be able to transfer a couple of our frozen embryos, affectionally referred to as our popsicles, on July 1.
No matter how this cycle goes, Sean and I are not ready to stop or even really change courses; however, no matter how it needs to occur, we will have our family and we will be able to experience all the things that I am so looking forward to experiencing with my own children.
I have never been opposed to adoption, but I never thought of it this way. Would I be okay if I could get my family without getting pregnant? Or even without having a young baby? As of right now, I am saying yes. While I have long dreamed about getting pregnant and delivering a biological baby, I don't think I would be totally depressed if I had to by pass this step. Would I miss the excitement of telling my family and the first few days with a new born? Of course, but I know my family and friends would show me just as much excitement if I announced we adopted. I know my colleagues would be just as excited to see my adopted child as they would be to see a biological child. After talking with A, I realized there is so many more important things that create family than biology.
I cannot wait to see my child's excitement as she participates in an activity she loves. I can't wait to be able to share some of the things that I love so much: theatre, dance, reading. I can't wait for the first day of school, as well as spending all summer together at Meme's pool (which hopefully will be up and running soon). I can't wait to see my child fall in love, graduate from high school, graduate from college, get married. Not one of these things would be less special or less important because the child wouldn't be "biologically" mine. The child would be mine and together we would experience all sorts of experience.
The child's first (of many) trips to Disney would not be any less special. He won't be any less excited to see Mickey for the first time or to ride the monorail with Dad to get away from Mom. My child's struggles and hardships won't be any easier. It will still be one of the most difficult things for me to see my child cry and be hurt by the people around him.
It is all these experiences (plus so many more) that help to build and solidify a family. It is these experiences, for better or worse, that I crave to experience. No matter how a child comes into our lives, whether they are born in my body or simply born in our hearts, this child will become an integral and important part of family. Definitely no questions asked.
All this being said, Sean and I are just not ready to give up on having our biological child yet. We have decided to take two of our embryos that were frozen during the last IVF and transfer them. Though frozen embryo transfers (FET) have slightly lower chances of being successful, there is still enough chance for it to happen that we are moving forward. I have been taking the necessary pills (estrace) since last week. If all goes as planned, we will be able to transfer a couple of our frozen embryos, affectionally referred to as our popsicles, on July 1.
No matter how this cycle goes, Sean and I are not ready to stop or even really change courses; however, no matter how it needs to occur, we will have our family and we will be able to experience all the things that I am so looking forward to experiencing with my own children.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Whirlwind
I cannot believe that it is June already. Really? Already? It seems like it was just June of 2010. How did this year go by so fast? I am sure that my focus on trying to conceive didn't help. It seems that since late October most of my free time has gone to thinking about, planning for, or having different infertility treatments. Add this ontop of work and correcting (something that I don't do quite enough) and I am surprised I have survived this far.
For the first time in recent history, I am not fully looking forward to the end of the school year. Don't get me wrong. I have a countdown going on my calendar and in my head (12.5 days left). I am looking forward to working with my youngins in the theatre camp (Aladdin Kids July 15th!). However the end of the year comes with a little black cloud over it. As much as I hate to do this to myself, I can't stop thinking about how this is one more year where I will not be making an announcement to my staff. I was so positive that I would be pregnant by this time, and I am not. I feel slightly at a lost.
I am heading into another summer not being pregnant. This is a time period when I spend most of my time alone at home or walking around the neighborhood. I will no longer have the escape of work to slightly keep my mind busy. I am also heading into another vacation possibly not pregnant. When we first scheduled our cruise, I had thought it would be our babymoon (our last vacation before the baby comes). Forty-something days out and it just another vacation. We have decided to go to Sea World on an excurision, instead of Islands of Adventure. This was our "baby-safe" excursion, but Sean just won't give it up. I still can't promise that I won't talk him into Islands of Advenutre (AKA HARRY POTTER WORLD!) if this next try doesn't work.
As I look to the next few weeks, my plan is to try to throw myself into all the correcting I have and to finishing up the school year successfully. I hope that by the time the year ends we will at least be starting all the lovely hormones for our frozen cycle. I am hoping the popsicles (our frozen embryos) are our key to getting pregnant and all my worries of a non-pregnant summer will have been for naught.
For the first time in recent history, I am not fully looking forward to the end of the school year. Don't get me wrong. I have a countdown going on my calendar and in my head (12.5 days left). I am looking forward to working with my youngins in the theatre camp (Aladdin Kids July 15th!). However the end of the year comes with a little black cloud over it. As much as I hate to do this to myself, I can't stop thinking about how this is one more year where I will not be making an announcement to my staff. I was so positive that I would be pregnant by this time, and I am not. I feel slightly at a lost.
I am heading into another summer not being pregnant. This is a time period when I spend most of my time alone at home or walking around the neighborhood. I will no longer have the escape of work to slightly keep my mind busy. I am also heading into another vacation possibly not pregnant. When we first scheduled our cruise, I had thought it would be our babymoon (our last vacation before the baby comes). Forty-something days out and it just another vacation. We have decided to go to Sea World on an excurision, instead of Islands of Adventure. This was our "baby-safe" excursion, but Sean just won't give it up. I still can't promise that I won't talk him into Islands of Advenutre (AKA HARRY POTTER WORLD!) if this next try doesn't work.
As I look to the next few weeks, my plan is to try to throw myself into all the correcting I have and to finishing up the school year successfully. I hope that by the time the year ends we will at least be starting all the lovely hormones for our frozen cycle. I am hoping the popsicles (our frozen embryos) are our key to getting pregnant and all my worries of a non-pregnant summer will have been for naught.
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