Whirlwind

I cannot believe that it is June already.  Really?  Already?   It seems like it was just June of 2010.  How did this year go by so fast?  I am sure that my focus on trying to conceive didn't help.   It seems that since late October most of my free time has gone to thinking about, planning for, or having different infertility treatments.   Add this ontop of work and correcting (something that I don't do quite enough) and I am surprised I have survived this far.  

For the first time in recent history, I am not fully looking forward to the end of the school year.  Don't get me wrong.  I have a countdown going on my calendar and in my head (12.5 days left).   I am looking forward to working with my youngins in the theatre camp (Aladdin Kids July 15th!).  However the end of the year comes with a little black cloud over it.  As much as I hate to do this to myself, I can't stop thinking about how this is one more year where I will not be making an announcement to my staff.   I was so positive that I would be pregnant by this time, and I am not.   I feel slightly at a lost.  

I am heading into another summer not being pregnant.   This is a time period when I spend most of my time alone at home or walking around the neighborhood.   I will no longer have the escape of work to slightly keep my mind busy.  I am also heading into another vacation possibly not pregnant.   When we first scheduled our cruise, I had thought it would be our babymoon (our last vacation before the baby comes).   Forty-something days out and it just another vacation.   We have decided to go to Sea World on an excurision, instead of Islands of Adventure.    This was our "baby-safe" excursion, but Sean just won't give it up.   I still can't promise that I won't talk him into Islands of Advenutre (AKA HARRY POTTER WORLD!) if this next try doesn't work. 

As I look to the next few weeks, my plan is to try to throw myself into all the correcting I have and to finishing up the school year successfully.   I hope that by the time the year ends we will at least be starting all the lovely hormones for our frozen cycle.  I am hoping the popsicles (our frozen embryos) are our key to getting pregnant and all my worries of a non-pregnant summer will have been for naught.