This is a concept that so many of us forget about, but sadly I was reminded of this last week. A week ago Thursday I, along with my colleagues, had to do one of the hardest things ever asked of us: tell our students one of their classmates had died the night before. This student was one who who touched every person he interacted with. He was a strong student, strong athlete, strong musician, and just an all around fantastic kid. He was definitely one the smartest students I have ever had and on top of that was always willing to share his ideas and help out his classmates. He is already sorely missed and my heart still goes out to all my students and his family; this definitely cannot be easy for any of them.
But as with many horrible events, we must try to find the good in this early passing. Way too often, we focus on everything we do not have instead everything we have. I'm definitely very guilty of this. Come on, I have a whole blog devoted to the child(ren) I don't have. Even though we are still working (very hard) to fill this area of life, there are so many things that I do have. I have a condo which has almost been entirely renovated since we moved in. I have a job that I love. I have three furbabies who keep me entertained and warm. I have an incredibly supportive husband, even though he has enjoyed giving me shots the last few days. I have an amazing family and incredibly fantastic friends. I work in a building that is more than a family than I ever expected it to be. I know everyone i there to help me if I need to. I'm very lucky to be a psuedo-aunt to my friend's incredibly sweet and perfect 10 month old. I'm also very lucky that I have two good friends who are each expecting their own little girls this coming June. It is all of these things that I need to focus on, even though I can still feel a huge whole that only a child can fill. Please take a minute or two to hugs the ones you love and to take a look at everything you do have; you never know when something will be pulled away from you.
It is with this thought in mind that I have moved forward with my cycle. I was able to start my stimulating medication on Tuesday. Luckily I feel no side-effects yet after three days of stims. By this time in my last cycle, I was already starting to feel full. I hope that I still have tons of follicles growing strong; my RE said that the lupron (my morning shot) can make the follicles grow a little slower. I go into the doctor again on Sunday morning (Gotta love those 6 AM drives to Boston) and then I will be starting morning monitoring. ER and ET is just around the corner!
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