I really can't believe that time as flown so quickly. It seems like it took me FOREVER to get pregnant and when we got that BFP on February 13th, I was sure it would feel like forever to get this close. However it has flown. I can't believe that in about a month Olivia will be here. I think we're pretty much ready for her, at least physically.
The nursery is pretty much all set, except for one shelf and a picture that still needs to be put up. There are a number of boxes and things that need to go into the basement when it is completed, but they are neatly stacked in the corner so they aren't bothering me (that much).
For the last few weeks, Sean and I have been going to our birth and prepare for baby classes. I'm surprised that Sean actually stays focused for most of the two hours and will often mention information he learned throughout the week. It is nice to have him go through this with me and to help me make any decisions, such as the importance of an epidural. It took lots of drugs to get Olivia into me and it will take drugs to get her out. We also took a new baby class last week, which went over some of the simple things of how to take care of a baby after you get her home. It was very helpful and will hopefully keep us from calling our mothers obsessively once Olivia comes home. We have two more weeks of our birth classes left, a breastfeeding class and a infant cpr class.
The only thing I'm still not sure of is whether or not I want to breastfeed. I'm not mentioning this to open a dialogue about why I should breastfeed, because I know all the benefits, believe me I have done my research. I'm just trying to get my thoughts in line. I'm almost certain that I will not be breastfeeding, or at least exclusively, once I return to work. With my work schedule I would be pumping during my only free period and/or lunch everyday. While some women are fine with this, I know that not having these time periods to get work done and to decompress will just stress me out. That being said, I'm still unsure of what I want to do prior to that. I know all the positives of breastfeeding, and I know all the negatives; I just can't decide which works best for me. While I like the idea of my child getting all nutrients from me and that it is free, I also like the idea of allowing others to have the bonding time and to give me some opportunities to get other things done, like showering. I like the idea of not having to worry where I am and trying to find a secluded place to breastfeed. I know it is a perfectly natural thing, but I will not be comfortable feeding in a restaurant or in the middle of the mall. This is not to say that I have anything against it, but it is just not for me. To be honest, the main reason I'm still thinking of breastfeeding is because that is what I'm "supposed" to do. I'm not sure if that is best reason for me to make this choice. Like I said earlier, we are going to a breastfeeding class which I hope will give me more conviction one way or the other. Right now I plan on going into it with an open mind. If I decide to try it and end up sticking with it, great! If I try it and it just isn't for me and I switch to formula, great! If I decide to go straight formula, great!
I guess whether we are ready or not Olivia will come when she wants. I can't wait to hold her in my arms and see who she looks like. Crazy as it seems, I can't wait for those late night feedings when it is just her and I in the quiet of the house.
