I found this on another blog. It is a fantastic explanation of how to comfort and support infertile couples. I recommend you all take a moment to read it. It is well written.
Here's What Infertile Couples Want
Friday, October 28, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Infertility is...
In this week's Resolve of New England member email, I noticed a blog contest. The title "Infertility is..." reminded me so much of an assignment I asked my students to complete that I had to write about it. During our poetry study, I ask the students to write abstract to concrete poems. They need to take an abstract concept like happiness, friendship or confusion and create a poem using concrete examples of these ideas. Well I'm not going to write a poem, because I care way too much for all you to make you read it, but I do want to write on the idea. I have to say that this comparison came from a friend on an infertility board, but since she brought it up, I cannot picture infertility any other way.
Infertility is...winter. It may come on slow, a few flakes on an October day, or it may hit you all as once, a nor'easter that follows a day of warmth. No matter how it starts, winter quickly begins to drag. The long nights and cold short days often make it incredibly difficult to stay positive. It isn't long before you begin wondering if you will ever get to feel the warm sun on your body again. However, deep in your heart, you know that spring will come, followed by summer. The problem is you truly know when the cold and snow will be gone. Will Mr. Groundhog give you relief and make spring come early, or will he enjoy the torture and run and hide, keeping winter longer.
Sean and I were lucky in that we were able to hold out hope for many months that our winter would never come. There were snowflakes of warning here and there, but we both hoped we could bypass that darkness. But as every New Englander knows, you cannot avoid the cold and snow. It will come and there is nothing you can do about it. When we started testing and treatment, it was all new and slightly exciting. Every treatment gave me hope that this would be an enjoyable and quick process, but even snow days get old after a while. At this point, we are in depths of winters. The snow is burying us. The roads are icy. The nights are long and cold. No amount of warmth can take the chill fully out. All that being said, I still hold out hope that the end of our winter is out there; I just don't know exactly how we will find it. Hopefully we can wait out this winter right where we are, but if we need to make a change and move we will do it. There will be an end to our winter, but exactly where we will be when it ends, I do not know. We are waiting for insurance approval for another (most likely our last) IVF which can hopefully occur, or at least begin, before the end of the year. We are also signed up to go to an infertility & adoption conference in about a week to get all the information we might need on adoption. At this point in time, I am really unsure about how our journey will end, but it will end and our summer will begin.
I want to leave you all with my new favorite quote. I carry it around in my wallet with me; I repeat it at least once a day. It truly keeps me going. I hope you can find inspiration from it as well.
"The moment you think about giving up, think of the reason why you held on for so long."
This post is part of the Infertility Is Blog Contest sponsored by RESOLVE of New England. You can find links to all of the submissions online at their website. For more information about RESOLVE of New England, like them on Facebook or follow them on Twitter.
Infertility is...winter. It may come on slow, a few flakes on an October day, or it may hit you all as once, a nor'easter that follows a day of warmth. No matter how it starts, winter quickly begins to drag. The long nights and cold short days often make it incredibly difficult to stay positive. It isn't long before you begin wondering if you will ever get to feel the warm sun on your body again. However, deep in your heart, you know that spring will come, followed by summer. The problem is you truly know when the cold and snow will be gone. Will Mr. Groundhog give you relief and make spring come early, or will he enjoy the torture and run and hide, keeping winter longer.
Sean and I were lucky in that we were able to hold out hope for many months that our winter would never come. There were snowflakes of warning here and there, but we both hoped we could bypass that darkness. But as every New Englander knows, you cannot avoid the cold and snow. It will come and there is nothing you can do about it. When we started testing and treatment, it was all new and slightly exciting. Every treatment gave me hope that this would be an enjoyable and quick process, but even snow days get old after a while. At this point, we are in depths of winters. The snow is burying us. The roads are icy. The nights are long and cold. No amount of warmth can take the chill fully out. All that being said, I still hold out hope that the end of our winter is out there; I just don't know exactly how we will find it. Hopefully we can wait out this winter right where we are, but if we need to make a change and move we will do it. There will be an end to our winter, but exactly where we will be when it ends, I do not know. We are waiting for insurance approval for another (most likely our last) IVF which can hopefully occur, or at least begin, before the end of the year. We are also signed up to go to an infertility & adoption conference in about a week to get all the information we might need on adoption. At this point in time, I am really unsure about how our journey will end, but it will end and our summer will begin.
I want to leave you all with my new favorite quote. I carry it around in my wallet with me; I repeat it at least once a day. It truly keeps me going. I hope you can find inspiration from it as well.
"The moment you think about giving up, think of the reason why you held on for so long."
This post is part of the Infertility Is Blog Contest sponsored by RESOLVE of New England. You can find links to all of the submissions online at their website. For more information about RESOLVE of New England, like them on Facebook or follow them on Twitter.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
A change has been made
On Monday, Sean and I traveled to Gillete to get our second opinion. We left feeling incredibly confident in this new doctor. She had some of the same adjustments that our RE recommending, including assisted hatching. However, she had some bigger changes, including a new IVF protocol (Lupron) and a new progesterone (probably progesterone in oil). Yes both of these changes mean more shots, but they were the changes in protocol that I have been begging for. She also wants me to have another ultrasound to take a look at my uterus. When I first went in to make sure my tubes were open, they noticed a slight abnormal shape in my uterus, which they then said was fine with a regular ultrasound. She says that it is very difficult to tell irregularites from a regular ultrasound and recommends a saline ultrasound (fill your uterus with saline and then ultrasound), which I have also been asking for. The only other change she would make is changing our diagnosis to mild male factor, something else I was confident about.
Overall I have to say meeting went well. We had wanted to celebrate with a great meal at Gillete, but we were both still full from breakfast which we had eaten on the way down. Instead we did a bit of shopping and then headed home. During the ride home, we spent a lot of time talking about what to do next. We both agreed that we wanted to go to with her, even if our current RE agreed to everything she recommended. Let's be honest he has had six cycles to get it right and hasn't come close. Would any of you give you doctor that many changes if you were seriously sick? I don't think so. I called Brigham & Women's the next day and made an appointment for Monday the 22nd. Hopefully this can start out all necessary testing, so we can get started in a month or so.
You would think this would give me so much more confidence, but it doesn't. Each day I wake up less confident that we will be able to have a child. It really sucks that one thing that we both want so much is the one thing we can't have. I try to put on a good act, but I spend so much of my time alone upset and in tears. I am sure it doesn't help that this time of the year is so very hard for any infertile. Almost any store I go into, I am bombarded by Halloween decorations and candy. It is one more year that I will not be able to bring my child around. Then after Halloween it all goes downhill. Thanksgiving and then Christmas. For Thanksgiving, we are trying to figure out which family will be the easiest to be with. Which will make the fewer comments? Which will be less child-centric? Christmas is even worse. Sean and I are truely considering leaving for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and really just pretend the days don't exist. I don't know if this will truely be easier, but it definitely will be one less holiday where we wake up to only our cats. Ahh I don't even want to think about it.
One week and then we can get started hopefully on the right path.
Overall I have to say meeting went well. We had wanted to celebrate with a great meal at Gillete, but we were both still full from breakfast which we had eaten on the way down. Instead we did a bit of shopping and then headed home. During the ride home, we spent a lot of time talking about what to do next. We both agreed that we wanted to go to with her, even if our current RE agreed to everything she recommended. Let's be honest he has had six cycles to get it right and hasn't come close. Would any of you give you doctor that many changes if you were seriously sick? I don't think so. I called Brigham & Women's the next day and made an appointment for Monday the 22nd. Hopefully this can start out all necessary testing, so we can get started in a month or so.
You would think this would give me so much more confidence, but it doesn't. Each day I wake up less confident that we will be able to have a child. It really sucks that one thing that we both want so much is the one thing we can't have. I try to put on a good act, but I spend so much of my time alone upset and in tears. I am sure it doesn't help that this time of the year is so very hard for any infertile. Almost any store I go into, I am bombarded by Halloween decorations and candy. It is one more year that I will not be able to bring my child around. Then after Halloween it all goes downhill. Thanksgiving and then Christmas. For Thanksgiving, we are trying to figure out which family will be the easiest to be with. Which will make the fewer comments? Which will be less child-centric? Christmas is even worse. Sean and I are truely considering leaving for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and really just pretend the days don't exist. I don't know if this will truely be easier, but it definitely will be one less holiday where we wake up to only our cats. Ahh I don't even want to think about it.
One week and then we can get started hopefully on the right path.
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