Gotta get down on Friday! Okay now I officially know that I need to stop teaching seventh grade!
Anyways onto the news, my frozen embryo transfer is officiall scheduled for Friday! We are hoping to transfer two of our frozen embryos. Our RE said that it is possible that only one (or none :( ) could make it through thaw. We are really trying not to think about that right now.
We have to be at the office for 11 and then I am on bed rest for Friday and Saturday. I am making a lasagna on Thursday for Sean to cook on Friday. Hopefully this means that there will be food to eat. After Saturday, I just have to take it easy. Dang, no work outs for me? Really? I don't know how I will survive. :)
After the transfer, the waiting game begins again. Any thoughts, prayers, positive thoughts you can spare for us is greatly appreciated. I will update after the transfer on Friday.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
Family? Yes! Pregnancy? ??
I have been going to see an infertility therapist (A) for the last few weeks. Good news, she told me I am not crazy (hard for some of you to believe, I know) and I am actually dealing with all the infertility very logically and actually pretty well. At my last appointment, A asked me a question that sort of caused me to stumble. What do you want more a family or a newborn?
I have never been opposed to adoption, but I never thought of it this way. Would I be okay if I could get my family without getting pregnant? Or even without having a young baby? As of right now, I am saying yes. While I have long dreamed about getting pregnant and delivering a biological baby, I don't think I would be totally depressed if I had to by pass this step. Would I miss the excitement of telling my family and the first few days with a new born? Of course, but I know my family and friends would show me just as much excitement if I announced we adopted. I know my colleagues would be just as excited to see my adopted child as they would be to see a biological child. After talking with A, I realized there is so many more important things that create family than biology.
I cannot wait to see my child's excitement as she participates in an activity she loves. I can't wait to be able to share some of the things that I love so much: theatre, dance, reading. I can't wait for the first day of school, as well as spending all summer together at Meme's pool (which hopefully will be up and running soon). I can't wait to see my child fall in love, graduate from high school, graduate from college, get married. Not one of these things would be less special or less important because the child wouldn't be "biologically" mine. The child would be mine and together we would experience all sorts of experience.
The child's first (of many) trips to Disney would not be any less special. He won't be any less excited to see Mickey for the first time or to ride the monorail with Dad to get away from Mom. My child's struggles and hardships won't be any easier. It will still be one of the most difficult things for me to see my child cry and be hurt by the people around him.
It is all these experiences (plus so many more) that help to build and solidify a family. It is these experiences, for better or worse, that I crave to experience. No matter how a child comes into our lives, whether they are born in my body or simply born in our hearts, this child will become an integral and important part of family. Definitely no questions asked.
All this being said, Sean and I are just not ready to give up on having our biological child yet. We have decided to take two of our embryos that were frozen during the last IVF and transfer them. Though frozen embryo transfers (FET) have slightly lower chances of being successful, there is still enough chance for it to happen that we are moving forward. I have been taking the necessary pills (estrace) since last week. If all goes as planned, we will be able to transfer a couple of our frozen embryos, affectionally referred to as our popsicles, on July 1.
No matter how this cycle goes, Sean and I are not ready to stop or even really change courses; however, no matter how it needs to occur, we will have our family and we will be able to experience all the things that I am so looking forward to experiencing with my own children.
I have never been opposed to adoption, but I never thought of it this way. Would I be okay if I could get my family without getting pregnant? Or even without having a young baby? As of right now, I am saying yes. While I have long dreamed about getting pregnant and delivering a biological baby, I don't think I would be totally depressed if I had to by pass this step. Would I miss the excitement of telling my family and the first few days with a new born? Of course, but I know my family and friends would show me just as much excitement if I announced we adopted. I know my colleagues would be just as excited to see my adopted child as they would be to see a biological child. After talking with A, I realized there is so many more important things that create family than biology.
I cannot wait to see my child's excitement as she participates in an activity she loves. I can't wait to be able to share some of the things that I love so much: theatre, dance, reading. I can't wait for the first day of school, as well as spending all summer together at Meme's pool (which hopefully will be up and running soon). I can't wait to see my child fall in love, graduate from high school, graduate from college, get married. Not one of these things would be less special or less important because the child wouldn't be "biologically" mine. The child would be mine and together we would experience all sorts of experience.
The child's first (of many) trips to Disney would not be any less special. He won't be any less excited to see Mickey for the first time or to ride the monorail with Dad to get away from Mom. My child's struggles and hardships won't be any easier. It will still be one of the most difficult things for me to see my child cry and be hurt by the people around him.
It is all these experiences (plus so many more) that help to build and solidify a family. It is these experiences, for better or worse, that I crave to experience. No matter how a child comes into our lives, whether they are born in my body or simply born in our hearts, this child will become an integral and important part of family. Definitely no questions asked.
All this being said, Sean and I are just not ready to give up on having our biological child yet. We have decided to take two of our embryos that were frozen during the last IVF and transfer them. Though frozen embryo transfers (FET) have slightly lower chances of being successful, there is still enough chance for it to happen that we are moving forward. I have been taking the necessary pills (estrace) since last week. If all goes as planned, we will be able to transfer a couple of our frozen embryos, affectionally referred to as our popsicles, on July 1.
No matter how this cycle goes, Sean and I are not ready to stop or even really change courses; however, no matter how it needs to occur, we will have our family and we will be able to experience all the things that I am so looking forward to experiencing with my own children.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Whirlwind
I cannot believe that it is June already. Really? Already? It seems like it was just June of 2010. How did this year go by so fast? I am sure that my focus on trying to conceive didn't help. It seems that since late October most of my free time has gone to thinking about, planning for, or having different infertility treatments. Add this ontop of work and correcting (something that I don't do quite enough) and I am surprised I have survived this far.
For the first time in recent history, I am not fully looking forward to the end of the school year. Don't get me wrong. I have a countdown going on my calendar and in my head (12.5 days left). I am looking forward to working with my youngins in the theatre camp (Aladdin Kids July 15th!). However the end of the year comes with a little black cloud over it. As much as I hate to do this to myself, I can't stop thinking about how this is one more year where I will not be making an announcement to my staff. I was so positive that I would be pregnant by this time, and I am not. I feel slightly at a lost.
I am heading into another summer not being pregnant. This is a time period when I spend most of my time alone at home or walking around the neighborhood. I will no longer have the escape of work to slightly keep my mind busy. I am also heading into another vacation possibly not pregnant. When we first scheduled our cruise, I had thought it would be our babymoon (our last vacation before the baby comes). Forty-something days out and it just another vacation. We have decided to go to Sea World on an excurision, instead of Islands of Adventure. This was our "baby-safe" excursion, but Sean just won't give it up. I still can't promise that I won't talk him into Islands of Advenutre (AKA HARRY POTTER WORLD!) if this next try doesn't work.
As I look to the next few weeks, my plan is to try to throw myself into all the correcting I have and to finishing up the school year successfully. I hope that by the time the year ends we will at least be starting all the lovely hormones for our frozen cycle. I am hoping the popsicles (our frozen embryos) are our key to getting pregnant and all my worries of a non-pregnant summer will have been for naught.
For the first time in recent history, I am not fully looking forward to the end of the school year. Don't get me wrong. I have a countdown going on my calendar and in my head (12.5 days left). I am looking forward to working with my youngins in the theatre camp (Aladdin Kids July 15th!). However the end of the year comes with a little black cloud over it. As much as I hate to do this to myself, I can't stop thinking about how this is one more year where I will not be making an announcement to my staff. I was so positive that I would be pregnant by this time, and I am not. I feel slightly at a lost.
I am heading into another summer not being pregnant. This is a time period when I spend most of my time alone at home or walking around the neighborhood. I will no longer have the escape of work to slightly keep my mind busy. I am also heading into another vacation possibly not pregnant. When we first scheduled our cruise, I had thought it would be our babymoon (our last vacation before the baby comes). Forty-something days out and it just another vacation. We have decided to go to Sea World on an excurision, instead of Islands of Adventure. This was our "baby-safe" excursion, but Sean just won't give it up. I still can't promise that I won't talk him into Islands of Advenutre (AKA HARRY POTTER WORLD!) if this next try doesn't work.
As I look to the next few weeks, my plan is to try to throw myself into all the correcting I have and to finishing up the school year successfully. I hope that by the time the year ends we will at least be starting all the lovely hormones for our frozen cycle. I am hoping the popsicles (our frozen embryos) are our key to getting pregnant and all my worries of a non-pregnant summer will have been for naught.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
In mourning
Merriam Webster defines to mourn as "to feel or express grief". Even though I am not sure it should, this term applies to me right now. I am in a deep state of mourning. I have turned to all my mourning food: dark chocolate and cookie dough (from Maggie) to chip and french onion dip and wine (from Dennis); however a death did not occur, or did it? Unlike the previous 16 or so tries, I know for fact that an life was created. I had two little embryos that could have become my future children but didn't. Even though it is not technically counted as a lost, I cannot help but feel as though it is. Even though I get out of bed every day and go though my day, my brain is on the failed IVF. What did I do wrong? What could I have done better? Am I to blame? Deep inside my mind I know that I didn't do anything wrong, but that doesn't stop all the thoughts from coming. Should I have not gone to work two days after the transfer? Should I not have let the kitchen curtain stress me out when it just wouldn't seem to go up? Should I have not gone to tech week of the middle school show?
Whether I accept or not (and I can't say I totally accept it), I am not pregnant. Once again, all our hard work and prayers did not work. It is pretty pathetic, but all sorts of things will send me into tears over this. Announcements of only 20-some odd days left of school leave tears in my eyes. It is one more year that I will leave school without being pregnant. Though I am excited about our cruise, my heart sinks at the thought of our excurision to Universal, Islands of Adventure. Though seeing Harry Potter World will definitely be AMAZING, we weren't going to go there if I was pregnant. Speaking of Harry Potter, I was fully brought to tears by a TV spot today for Harry Potter 7 part two. Why you ask? Well, I had the wierd thought that if I was pregnant, my child would have the opportunity to see the final HP movie in theatres. Silly, huh? I am sure these things are going to continue coming.
I dread almost every day at work when I could have the possibility of running into one of the pregnant women at work, or even worse a surprise pregnancy announcement. I wake up with one thought: "It still hasn't happen". Even though I try to stay positive, it is so difficult right now. I am beyond thankful for entire support group. Poor Lauren listens every day to my whining about my infertility without a single complaint or even a simple "Shut UP!". My mother deals constantly with the issue of infertility. It is just like when we were planning my wedding only much more depressing.
So, what is next? To be honest, I don't know. Prior to our IVF, my RE said we would do one fresh cycle and then one frozen. I am not sure if this still going to be the deal. We have a follow up appointment with our RE, or what is affectionally know as the WTF -what the fuck- (sorry Mom!) by the infertile community, on Monday. I have about 15 questions for him, half of which I probably won't ever ask. After this point, I hope we have a clearer plan, which hopefully included getting at least something completed this summer, even with out cruise in the middle.
I guess until I am blessed with real children I will have to spoil my three amazing furbabies. For those of you who do not know them, let me introduce them to you.
My sweet, and slightly crazy, little girl Holly
My slightly less crazy, and a little heavier, girl Millie
My sweetest girl, Dulce, with her favorite summertime toys, flip flops
Whether I accept or not (and I can't say I totally accept it), I am not pregnant. Once again, all our hard work and prayers did not work. It is pretty pathetic, but all sorts of things will send me into tears over this. Announcements of only 20-some odd days left of school leave tears in my eyes. It is one more year that I will leave school without being pregnant. Though I am excited about our cruise, my heart sinks at the thought of our excurision to Universal, Islands of Adventure. Though seeing Harry Potter World will definitely be AMAZING, we weren't going to go there if I was pregnant. Speaking of Harry Potter, I was fully brought to tears by a TV spot today for Harry Potter 7 part two. Why you ask? Well, I had the wierd thought that if I was pregnant, my child would have the opportunity to see the final HP movie in theatres. Silly, huh? I am sure these things are going to continue coming.
I dread almost every day at work when I could have the possibility of running into one of the pregnant women at work, or even worse a surprise pregnancy announcement. I wake up with one thought: "It still hasn't happen". Even though I try to stay positive, it is so difficult right now. I am beyond thankful for entire support group. Poor Lauren listens every day to my whining about my infertility without a single complaint or even a simple "Shut UP!". My mother deals constantly with the issue of infertility. It is just like when we were planning my wedding only much more depressing.
So, what is next? To be honest, I don't know. Prior to our IVF, my RE said we would do one fresh cycle and then one frozen. I am not sure if this still going to be the deal. We have a follow up appointment with our RE, or what is affectionally know as the WTF -what the fuck- (sorry Mom!) by the infertile community, on Monday. I have about 15 questions for him, half of which I probably won't ever ask. After this point, I hope we have a clearer plan, which hopefully included getting at least something completed this summer, even with out cruise in the middle.
I guess until I am blessed with real children I will have to spoil my three amazing furbabies. For those of you who do not know them, let me introduce them to you.
My sweet, and slightly crazy, little girl Holly
My slightly less crazy, and a little heavier, girl Millie
My sweetest girl, Dulce, with her favorite summertime toys, flip flops
Friday, May 6, 2011
Why don't you get a hobby?
This is advice that I have heard time and time again during my infertility journey. Most infertility books, websites, and even my reproductive endocronologist recommend continuing, or even picking up, a hobby to help keep your mind off of babies and pregnancy and infertility during waiting periods, especially the dreaded two week wait. This is exactly where I am right now. I get to wait until May 15th to see whether our recent embryo transfer worked. Let me tell you, it is TORTURE! As much as a try, my mind is on the recent transfer and pregnancy. Maybe I should get a hobby, but what?
Normally if anyone would ask me what I do for fun, I would respond with either dance or theatre. The problem with that? I haven't dance in atleast 3 years (unless you count the three classes I took at my old studio this summer with infants - okay they were between 15 and 18 - and I could barely walk afterward). I also haven't been on stage in almost three years as well. So in actuality, neither of these are actually true hobbies of mine anymore. Maybe I could start doing yoga? Yay, it is a good healthy habit and it will help keep me centered and relaxed. Tried it! I am good for day one or two and then I can't get my fat but off the couch. Maybe I will do something crafty? I could make pillowcase dresses for my future daughter. I could scrapbook. I could quilt. Problem, I have all the creativity of a second grader left alone with glitter and the glue pot. In other word, it doesn't come out pretty. I know I did a lot of the crafts for my wedding (table numbers, menus, cake topper, pomanders), but those took me hours each and I threw away way more than I can count.
That brings me to the few things that could actually be considered hobbies: shopping and reading. Shopping, now that is a hobby I can stick with. Right now buying clothes is out of the question, but there are always shoes, accessories and home things. I clearly don't have enough cute heels or earrings. Home Goods is also a fantastic way to spend a few hours. I don't see any real problems with this, right? Sean won't mind when I spend all our emergency money just so I can take my mind off of infertility and babies. No problem right? Yay, so that wouldn't work. I guess that leaves reading. It is not something that I actually really consider a hobby, but it truly. I can loose myself for hours or even days in a good book. Sean frequently mocks me as I spend a Friday or Saturday night with my nose in a book. I may not read "high" literature, but does that really matter. So what if most of my books either take place in Elizabethan England or have covens of vampires (don't mock; they are good). These stories entertain me and keep my mind from constantly drifting back to the issues that I am dealing with. If they offer me even two minutes of solice, I will take it. So I guess in all actuality, I do have a hobby; one that I truly love. It may not keep my body or hands active, but it keeps my mind active, which is the most important part of a hobby.
I think I will be reading quite a bit in the next week or so. I had two lovely embryos transferred this past Wednesday. Both were what my clinic considers high implantation potential. Fingers crossed that at least on sticks and for you viewing pleasure, our future possible babies:
Normally if anyone would ask me what I do for fun, I would respond with either dance or theatre. The problem with that? I haven't dance in atleast 3 years (unless you count the three classes I took at my old studio this summer with infants - okay they were between 15 and 18 - and I could barely walk afterward). I also haven't been on stage in almost three years as well. So in actuality, neither of these are actually true hobbies of mine anymore. Maybe I could start doing yoga? Yay, it is a good healthy habit and it will help keep me centered and relaxed. Tried it! I am good for day one or two and then I can't get my fat but off the couch. Maybe I will do something crafty? I could make pillowcase dresses for my future daughter. I could scrapbook. I could quilt. Problem, I have all the creativity of a second grader left alone with glitter and the glue pot. In other word, it doesn't come out pretty. I know I did a lot of the crafts for my wedding (table numbers, menus, cake topper, pomanders), but those took me hours each and I threw away way more than I can count.
That brings me to the few things that could actually be considered hobbies: shopping and reading. Shopping, now that is a hobby I can stick with. Right now buying clothes is out of the question, but there are always shoes, accessories and home things. I clearly don't have enough cute heels or earrings. Home Goods is also a fantastic way to spend a few hours. I don't see any real problems with this, right? Sean won't mind when I spend all our emergency money just so I can take my mind off of infertility and babies. No problem right? Yay, so that wouldn't work. I guess that leaves reading. It is not something that I actually really consider a hobby, but it truly. I can loose myself for hours or even days in a good book. Sean frequently mocks me as I spend a Friday or Saturday night with my nose in a book. I may not read "high" literature, but does that really matter. So what if most of my books either take place in Elizabethan England or have covens of vampires (don't mock; they are good). These stories entertain me and keep my mind from constantly drifting back to the issues that I am dealing with. If they offer me even two minutes of solice, I will take it. So I guess in all actuality, I do have a hobby; one that I truly love. It may not keep my body or hands active, but it keeps my mind active, which is the most important part of a hobby.
I think I will be reading quite a bit in the next week or so. I had two lovely embryos transferred this past Wednesday. Both were what my clinic considers high implantation potential. Fingers crossed that at least on sticks and for you viewing pleasure, our future possible babies:
Monday, May 2, 2011
The things you know when going through IVF
I have been researching and hearing about IVF for months. 5dp2dt of ICSI IVF seems like jibberish to most people, but it is clear as day to me. So clear in fact that I sometimes forget that other people don't know all of these terms by heart. Many of you reading probably do not know more about IVF than Jon and Kate Plus 8, Octomom and test tube babies. Since I am in the middle of my first IVF (I will give you an update later), I thought I would explain the process to everyone.
The cycle begins with suppression of some sort, often through the use of birth control. While this may seem sort of counterproductive, it actually works to stop your body from developing follicles. This helps to put your body on a schedule that the reproductive endocronologist (RE) can work with. After supression, you will start stimmulating your follicles. There are a variety of injectible medications that can be used for this. I used a drug called Gonal-F. It required me to give myself nightly injections to help the follicles (things in the ovaries that contain eggs) grow large than normal.
During this time, you have to go in for frequent blood work and ultrasound. This is checking to make sure your hormone levels are still in the normal level, as well as checking the size and number of follicles in each of your ovaries. The RE may find that your follicles are maturing, but you are getting close to ovulating, which isn't good if your egg retrieval isn't for a few days. In this case, the RE may have you take another daily injection to stop the follicles from ovulating. I had to take a drug called Cetrotide. That made 2 injections a day. Once your RE thinks everything is how it should be, you have to a final injection (HCG) which causes the follicles to release the mature eggs about 36 hours later.
The next step is the egg retrieval (ER). During this process, you are put under a light anesthesia and the RE will use a needle to suck all mature eggs from both ovaries. The whole thing only takes about 20 minutes. Prior to this procedure a semen sample needs to be produced so it can be ready to be mixed with the eggs.
At this point, the embryologists in the lab go to work. They put some sperm with each egg and place them in an incubator. In some cases it may be necessary for them to perform ICSI (intracytoplasmic sperm injection). During ICSI, the sperm is injected right into the cytoplasm of the egg. After a day, the embryologist is able to see which of the eggs fertilized.
For the next two days or so, the embryos are watch closely. It is important that they are splitting evenly with little or no fragmentation. During this time, you have to take progesterone supplements, which are either available through injection or suppositories which will continue at least through the pregnancy test. Either 3 (3dt) or 5 (5dt) days after ER, it is time for the embryos to be transferred.
During the embryo transfer (ET), the best embryos are transferred via catheter into the uterus. If possible, additional embryos can be frozen for future transfers. A positive pregnancy test can be taken about 10 days after the transfer.
Hopefully this give some of you an idea of the process that some people need to take in order to have the child of their dreams.
Now for my update: I was able to have my egg retrieval this past Sunday. It was a lot earlier than I expected, but I was happy it occurred on a weekend. The procedure wasn't that bad. All I remember once I got into the operating room was "Ok Christine, I want you to take 5 deep breaths." Two breaths later I was out and then I was waking up in recovery. They were able to get 12 eggs!!! Sean and I wer both very excited.
I wasn't in that much pain afterwards. I was more uncomfortable than anything, especially when I was trying to stand up or sit down. Today is better, though I still am a little sore.
The clinic called me earlier today to let me know how many of my 12 fertilized. We were lucky enough to get 7 embryos! Hopefully our 7 possible future children are behaving themselves and growing well. We are doing a 3 day transfer on Wednesday. I have signed up for pre- and post-transfer acupuncture at the clinic to help everything along. After that I am coming home to spend two days on the couch. I am feeling a Harry Potter marathon in my future.
I will try to keep you updated, because I am sure I will need lots of distractions during the 2 week wait (time between conception and pregnancy test).
If you want to learn more about IVF or other infertility treatments, check out this site: IVF
The cycle begins with suppression of some sort, often through the use of birth control. While this may seem sort of counterproductive, it actually works to stop your body from developing follicles. This helps to put your body on a schedule that the reproductive endocronologist (RE) can work with. After supression, you will start stimmulating your follicles. There are a variety of injectible medications that can be used for this. I used a drug called Gonal-F. It required me to give myself nightly injections to help the follicles (things in the ovaries that contain eggs) grow large than normal.
During this time, you have to go in for frequent blood work and ultrasound. This is checking to make sure your hormone levels are still in the normal level, as well as checking the size and number of follicles in each of your ovaries. The RE may find that your follicles are maturing, but you are getting close to ovulating, which isn't good if your egg retrieval isn't for a few days. In this case, the RE may have you take another daily injection to stop the follicles from ovulating. I had to take a drug called Cetrotide. That made 2 injections a day. Once your RE thinks everything is how it should be, you have to a final injection (HCG) which causes the follicles to release the mature eggs about 36 hours later.
The next step is the egg retrieval (ER). During this process, you are put under a light anesthesia and the RE will use a needle to suck all mature eggs from both ovaries. The whole thing only takes about 20 minutes. Prior to this procedure a semen sample needs to be produced so it can be ready to be mixed with the eggs.
At this point, the embryologists in the lab go to work. They put some sperm with each egg and place them in an incubator. In some cases it may be necessary for them to perform ICSI (intracytoplasmic sperm injection). During ICSI, the sperm is injected right into the cytoplasm of the egg. After a day, the embryologist is able to see which of the eggs fertilized.
For the next two days or so, the embryos are watch closely. It is important that they are splitting evenly with little or no fragmentation. During this time, you have to take progesterone supplements, which are either available through injection or suppositories which will continue at least through the pregnancy test. Either 3 (3dt) or 5 (5dt) days after ER, it is time for the embryos to be transferred.
During the embryo transfer (ET), the best embryos are transferred via catheter into the uterus. If possible, additional embryos can be frozen for future transfers. A positive pregnancy test can be taken about 10 days after the transfer.
Hopefully this give some of you an idea of the process that some people need to take in order to have the child of their dreams.
Now for my update: I was able to have my egg retrieval this past Sunday. It was a lot earlier than I expected, but I was happy it occurred on a weekend. The procedure wasn't that bad. All I remember once I got into the operating room was "Ok Christine, I want you to take 5 deep breaths." Two breaths later I was out and then I was waking up in recovery. They were able to get 12 eggs!!! Sean and I wer both very excited.
I wasn't in that much pain afterwards. I was more uncomfortable than anything, especially when I was trying to stand up or sit down. Today is better, though I still am a little sore.
The clinic called me earlier today to let me know how many of my 12 fertilized. We were lucky enough to get 7 embryos! Hopefully our 7 possible future children are behaving themselves and growing well. We are doing a 3 day transfer on Wednesday. I have signed up for pre- and post-transfer acupuncture at the clinic to help everything along. After that I am coming home to spend two days on the couch. I am feeling a Harry Potter marathon in my future.
I will try to keep you updated, because I am sure I will need lots of distractions during the 2 week wait (time between conception and pregnancy test).
If you want to learn more about IVF or other infertility treatments, check out this site: IVF
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Infertility Myth: If you just relax, you will get pregnant
In honor of National Infertility Week, I am joining up with RESOLVE and other infertility bloggers to help bust infertility myths. Hopefully I will be able to get a couple up this week but between work and fertility drugs, I will be lucky if I can write by Thursday.
The one thing that drives me the craziest is the phrase in my title. I cannot tell you how many times I was told to "relax" or to "be patient". Sorry we could be as relaxed as possible, but it doesn't raise the 2% chance that we will get pregnant without intervention. While this may be good advice during the first weeks or so of trying to conceive, after a few months it becomes irrating.
How would you feel if you desperately wanted a new job and people continually told you to relax? Instead of sending out all those resumes and spending hours online looking for new postings (I know how this is done for I have seen it done very often from this very laptop), you can just sit and relax and someone is going to knock on your door with a great job. RIGHT, like that is going happen. You have to be actively searching for a job in order to find one. Yes, there was that one time when your friend's cousin's brother's wife wasn't even looking for a job and walked into a company and was hired on the spot, but who is really luck enough for that to happen? If someone continually told you to relax, I am sure you would be ready to shove your perfectly printed resume down someone's throat.
Why is it then okay to torture infertile women with this statement? If I didn't take the nightly fertility shots (not too bad actually), go in for blood work and ultrasounds every other morning, or go through egg retrival and transfer, I may never have the opportunity to have my own biological child. Yes there are some things I could relax about, such as dinner (Sean would be happy eating frozen pizza every night) or MCAS scheduling (yes, I did make a spreadsheet of all the possible days that I could miss and how they would affect MCAS), but none of these things will help me to become pregnant without medical intervention.
Next time you talk to someone who is trying to have a child, don't tell them to relax. This isn't helpful. Instead try to see if there is anything they need from you, such as your support. Even a simple "I can't imagine how difficult this is" can mean the world to the recipient.
Visit Resolve's site and read their Infertility 101 to learn a little more about infertility. Visit National Infertility Awareness Week to learn about the background of NIAW.
The one thing that drives me the craziest is the phrase in my title. I cannot tell you how many times I was told to "relax" or to "be patient". Sorry we could be as relaxed as possible, but it doesn't raise the 2% chance that we will get pregnant without intervention. While this may be good advice during the first weeks or so of trying to conceive, after a few months it becomes irrating.
How would you feel if you desperately wanted a new job and people continually told you to relax? Instead of sending out all those resumes and spending hours online looking for new postings (I know how this is done for I have seen it done very often from this very laptop), you can just sit and relax and someone is going to knock on your door with a great job. RIGHT, like that is going happen. You have to be actively searching for a job in order to find one. Yes, there was that one time when your friend's cousin's brother's wife wasn't even looking for a job and walked into a company and was hired on the spot, but who is really luck enough for that to happen? If someone continually told you to relax, I am sure you would be ready to shove your perfectly printed resume down someone's throat.
Why is it then okay to torture infertile women with this statement? If I didn't take the nightly fertility shots (not too bad actually), go in for blood work and ultrasounds every other morning, or go through egg retrival and transfer, I may never have the opportunity to have my own biological child. Yes there are some things I could relax about, such as dinner (Sean would be happy eating frozen pizza every night) or MCAS scheduling (yes, I did make a spreadsheet of all the possible days that I could miss and how they would affect MCAS), but none of these things will help me to become pregnant without medical intervention.
Next time you talk to someone who is trying to have a child, don't tell them to relax. This isn't helpful. Instead try to see if there is anything they need from you, such as your support. Even a simple "I can't imagine how difficult this is" can mean the world to the recipient.
Visit Resolve's site and read their Infertility 101 to learn a little more about infertility. Visit National Infertility Awareness Week to learn about the background of NIAW.
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