As Olivia is napping (yes she is actually napping and not in my arms!!), I was thinking about the last few years. This year I'm watching my lovely girl nap and waiting to give her her first Easter basket. Last year, I was pregnant and excited about all the possibilities the year could bring. The year before was a different story entirely.
We went to my aunt and uncle's to celebrate the holiday, even though neither Sean nor I felt like celebrating. We planned on missing the annual Easter egg hunt for the kids because I knew I couldn't take that. Well, that didn't work out as planned. As the kids went out to collect eggs, I broke down thinking that I might never get to see my child going on an egg hunt. Sean and I then spent the rest of the holiday at home and eating McDonalds (the only food we could find).
It's memories like this that allow me to really enjoy every possible second with my little girl. Even when I'm trying to figure out exactly why she has decided not to sleep anymore (come one baby girl you sleep through the night twice last week why did you need to wake up 4 times last night??), I think about the feelings of loss and longing I felt for all those years and I'm thankful that I have her to wake me up.
Since the nap is over (a whole 40 minutes in the pack n play...score!!), I will wrap this up. I promise to update on all her successes in the next few weeks when she turns 6 months! How is that even possible? Until all then I want you all to have a great holiday. For my friends who are still struggling to come to the end of their IF journey, it will happen and when it does it will be the best thing that ever happened to you.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Monday, February 11, 2013
4 months already!?!
Here are some basics from month 3:
Weight: 12 pounds 4 ounces (25th percentile)
Length: 24.75 inches (50th percentile)
Still a peanut but growing nicely
Milestones:
- can hold her head up
- can sit while assisted
- giggles (mostly at Daddy)
- vocalizes a lot
- grabs at toys
- puts EVERYTHING in her mouth
- music class with Meme
- trip to NH to go to Auntie Debbie's house
- cold :(
- snow day with Mommy
After being transferred back to her bed after her cold (she slept in her rock n play), she was not the normally good sleeper that I knew she could be. She fought the swaddle and was awake every hour or two, so we decided to throw the swaddle out and just deal with it. We had about two weeks of 1-3 hour sleep sessions. Thankfully we could quickly get her back to sleep fairly quickly. However, near the end of her third month she was back to sleeping her normal long hours (8/9-3/4 and then down again until 6:30/7). She is still waking up for one feed, but our goal is to try to get rid of that soon.
Napping on the other hand is difficult for Mommy. She sleeps fine at day care 2 naps of 1-2 hours and does the same for Grammy and Meme. However for Mommy she only likes to nap being held. Over two days, I can normally get one nap of any length in her crib. She does nap nightly around 5/6 for like 45 minutes, but this one I normally snuggle her because the day away is just too long.
Eating habits:
Olivia started this month eating about 3 ounces every 3 hours then one day she jumped up to eating 6 ounces every 3 hours. This lasted for a few days; she was downing about 35 ounces+ a day. Then she slowed down to 4-6 ounces every 3-4 hours. The doctor would still like her to eat less frequently with more at each feeding but what can you do?
Some photos from this month:
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
3 Months
While my goal to record her accomplishments monthly has already failed. I guess that is what happens when you have a baby who wants your constant attention when she's awake, who doesn't like to sleep and by the time she goes to bed at 9 you are exhausted and still need to shower.
Here are some basics from month 3:
Weight: 11 pounds 6 ounces (17th percentile)
Length: 24 inches (58th percentile)
My little girl is still a peanut! These are my measurements so there definitely could be a margin for error here.
Milestones:
She is still a good sleeper and often sleeps around 6-7 hours at a time. Even though she goes to bed around 8 or 9 and wakes up between 2 and 4 she normally eats and goes back down for a few more hours. She is napping a little better. She is still taking cat naps but her afternoon naps tend to be a couple hours.
Eating habits:
She eats 3-4 ounces every 2.5-3 hours during the day. She still takes her sweet ol' time when eating. It is common for her to want to take a break and play before finishing a bottle. Obviously she does not truly belong in this family; Sean and I have been known to go to a nice restaurant and have eaten and paid in under 45 minutes. She also is very clear when she wants to continue eat and not be burped.
Some photos from this month:
Here are some basics from month 3:
Weight: 11 pounds 6 ounces (17th percentile)
Length: 24 inches (58th percentile)
My little girl is still a peanut! These are my measurements so there definitely could be a margin for error here.
Milestones:
- can hold her head up fairly consistently
- can hold her chest up when on her tummy (that is when she's not screaming hysterical and banging her face on the floor because mommy is torturing her by putting her on her tummy)
- can pretty much get her fist into her mouth when she wants to
- smiles and giggles when spoken to and sometimes to toys
- can hit toys when they are put in front of her
- I'm not sure if this is a milestone, but she is losing her hair!
- Christmas
- New Year's Eve (she fell asleep by 9)
- sleeping through the night 1/5/13 9 pm-6 am
- days at day care and with Grammy and Meme
She is still a good sleeper and often sleeps around 6-7 hours at a time. Even though she goes to bed around 8 or 9 and wakes up between 2 and 4 she normally eats and goes back down for a few more hours. She is napping a little better. She is still taking cat naps but her afternoon naps tend to be a couple hours.
Eating habits:
She eats 3-4 ounces every 2.5-3 hours during the day. She still takes her sweet ol' time when eating. It is common for her to want to take a break and play before finishing a bottle. Obviously she does not truly belong in this family; Sean and I have been known to go to a nice restaurant and have eaten and paid in under 45 minutes. She also is very clear when she wants to continue eat and not be burped.
Some photos from this month:
Friday, November 9, 2012
1 month!
Olivia was 1 month old yesterday. I can't believe the time has gone so fast. Each month I'm going to try to record some basic information about her to let everyone know, but also to help me remember this time.
Weight: 8 pounds 3.5 ounces (25th percentile)
Length: 21 inches (50th percentile)
Milestones:
Most nights she sleeps well at 3-3.5 hour segments at the beginning of the night and slightly shorter as the night goes on. Naps during the day last between 30 and 90 minutes normally. When she starts to get over-tired, she likes to be swaddled and held. Luckily I found a great white noise app because she also likes "shh-ing" sounds and I was losing my voice.
Eating habits:
She eats 2-3 ounces every 2-3 hours. She averages about 2.5 ounce most often. She is a fairly slow eater and I have attempted to put quicker nipples on the bottles, but she tends to drown herself then. She also began a bad habit of wanting to eat an hour or so after a feeding and then only drinks .5 ounce or so. According to the doctor she is just trying to soothe herself with the bottle and I need to break her of the habit of turning to food for comfort. I guess I have to use the pacifier more often, even though I don't want her to become dependent on it.
At her appointment today, she had to get her 2nd hepatitis B shot. She was already crying because she was just fussy, but as soon as the needle went in her cry went from just a fussy cry to a a real scream. The poor little girl! However she was quickly quieted when I picked her up and she got a lovely band-aid:
Right now, she is napping in her crib, which I was told I need to do more often to get her used to sleeping there. :( Later we are heading to book club. I need to get her literary before her father gets her hooked on movies.
Length: 21 inches (50th percentile)
Milestones:
- can hold head up at 45 degree angle for a few seconds and at times can turn head from one side to the other side when on belly
- starting to vocalize, especially when looking in a mirror (she loves to look at herself)
- starting to really smile, especially at Mommy
- bath - October 25th
- Halloween - dressed as Minnie Mouse
- Nor'easter & Hurricane
Most nights she sleeps well at 3-3.5 hour segments at the beginning of the night and slightly shorter as the night goes on. Naps during the day last between 30 and 90 minutes normally. When she starts to get over-tired, she likes to be swaddled and held. Luckily I found a great white noise app because she also likes "shh-ing" sounds and I was losing my voice.
Eating habits:
She eats 2-3 ounces every 2-3 hours. She averages about 2.5 ounce most often. She is a fairly slow eater and I have attempted to put quicker nipples on the bottles, but she tends to drown herself then. She also began a bad habit of wanting to eat an hour or so after a feeding and then only drinks .5 ounce or so. According to the doctor she is just trying to soothe herself with the bottle and I need to break her of the habit of turning to food for comfort. I guess I have to use the pacifier more often, even though I don't want her to become dependent on it.
Right now, she is napping in her crib, which I was told I need to do more often to get her used to sleeping there. :( Later we are heading to book club. I need to get her literary before her father gets her hooked on movies.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
What I have learned in 3 short weeks
1. No schedule for newborns much to the stress of type-A moms:
As many of you know, I do the best when I know what the day will bring. I like having a schedule and following it (maybe that is what makes a good teacher). After reading and talking to our pediatrician, I was confident that Olivia would eat every two-three hours and then play for 30-90 minutes and then nap. HA! That type of routine belongs in a fantasy world with wands, horcruxes and platform 9 3/4s. Sometimes she will eat every three hours and sometimes she eats every hour and throws a fit if I don't feed her. Sometimes she wants to play for hours after she eats and sometimes she falls asleep before even finishing her bottle. Some days start off good. She wakes up, eats and plays and then sleeps until about 2.5 hours after her feeding. She exhibits hunger signs so I try to feed her and she drinks a whopping 1/2 ounce and then passes out. There goes that schedule. I do plan on talking to the doctor next week about what type of schedule I should be trying to get her on though I have a feeling her real routine will come when I go back to work. I mean I don't even have a routine right now, unless you count staying in pjs until Sean gets home and showering when possible.
2. Bed time as exercise routine:
Ah the bed time routine! The miracle that will get your child to sleep! Right now our bedtime routine consists of Olivia fussing and crying for an hour while I walk circles around the house and Sean turns up the volume on the TV. Then I finally get her relaxed enough that she will take a bottle, so we rock while she eats and I read a story or two. Normally during this time, she is fighting to stay awake, so I rock her a bit more and once she is "asleep" I put her down gently in her crib, put the sleep sheep sound machine on and silently leave the room. I get on the couch or in bed and in less than five minutes she is screaming again. Cue me getting out of bed, trying to comfort her in the crib to no avail and finally rocking her. Not long after she is asleep in my arms and I gently put her in her crib, put on the sleep sheep sound machine and silently leave the room. I get on the couch or in bed and in less than five minutes she is screaming. This goes on for a good 30 minutes to an hour with Sean and I taking turn. Normally it ends with me in tears begging my poor little girl to tell me what she wants. Normally it is something we have offered 100 times throughout this process, such as reswadling, some more formula or a pacifier. By the time she falls asleep, she is sleeping peacefully but my nerves are fried and I can't fall asleep even though I have made about 20 trips up the stairs. Luckily she is sleeping between 3 and 4 hours at time so I can at least get some sleep.
3. Video monitors - Gift from God or from the Devil:
When Sean and I were registering, we decided that we would spend some extra money and go for the video monitor. We figured that it would help us keep a better eye on her. I'm not sure if the video monitor was such a good purchase or not. Yes, it allows me to keep an eye on her while she sleeps and stops me from going into her room constantly to make sure she is still breathing (though I do still have to check at least once a nap). I also use to check on her when she starts to fuss. It gives me a good idea about whether I need to go into or if she was just fussing in her sleep. However, there are definitely times that this creation is definitely from the devil to torture new parents who can't sleep. Many times at night she will be WIDE awake in her crib and just sort of looking around. If we had an audio only monitor, I would never know about these periods, which normally occur right after she get puts down. However I can see her staring at the camera. I swear she knows it's there and she knows that I'm on the other end watching and willing her to sleep. It is almost as if she is taunting me. "Ha ha Mom. You thought I was asleep, but I wasn't. It was all a trick and I'm going start screaming at any time." It is like she is playing a game with me, but no matter how much I want to I cannot turn on the screen until I see her eyes close.
4. Hot meals are a luxury:
Another thing Olivia seems to know instinctively is when my food is ready. She can be mid-nap and just as my food is ready she is wide awake and wants to eat herself or is just being fussy. Other than the times I have been at my parents and at the hospital, I don't think I have had a hot dinner since she was born. Now that she likes her bounce seat, I can normally get a semi-warm meal after I make her happy. From talking to other moms, I'm thinking that this will continue to be a luxury for the near future and when I do get to have a warm meal again I will be sharing it with her.
5. Too many days in the house creates a cranky mommy (and baby):
I have never been someone who has been happy sitting around the house. A day or even two can be nice, but more than that makes me cranky. Add no sleep to that and you better watch out. I have read all about the warnings about taking a baby out too early, but I'm sorry I just can't stay cooped up in the house. I was at the mall under a week old and I ended up fine (except for my slight shopping addiction). Olivia was out at 5 days old because I just needed out. Two days is my limit staying in and that is stretching it sometimes.
6. Sleep when baby sleeps is a myth:
I have yet to figure out how to accomplish this one. At first I was too paranoid to sleep. All that pre-baby education was great except it made me scared shitless of SIDS. After I relaxed from that, I just wanted to look at her while she sleeps. With the exception of nighttime, I don't think she slept anywhere but on me or someone else for a good week and a half. Now I have gotten to the point that I try to put her down when she naps and even try to get to nap in her crib at least once a day, so that gives me tons of time to rest right? Wrong. I have this nagging urge to make sure the house is picked up (the real cleaning I leave to my cleaning lady that I have every other week until the end of the year). Then there are times that I would like to actual eat (something I don't do much of anymore) and then there are even times I want to cook or bake (gasp). This is worse than nesting. I can't just seem to lay down and sleep. When I get to the point that I'm relaxed enough to actually nap, guess what? She wakes up five minutes later. All part of that newborn ESP I think. If anyone actually has mastered this, please let me know.
7. Everything can be done in steps:
I have yet to find anything that can't be done in steps and often very little steps: reading, phone conversations, dishes, even blogging. It seems that everything gets done now in parts. I may have 20 minutes here and then 5 minutes there. I don't know how many times I have had to stop and start something. The other day I jumped into shower and just as I got in, Olivia started screaming. I quickly washed my body and jumped out. I then spent a good twenty minutes wrapped in my bathrobe because I just didn't have time to get really dressed. I didn't get to washing and blow drying my hair until the next day; a process which took a good two hours. Now this blog is on session number 5 over the course of 3 days. Hopefully I can finish it now.
8. Don't be afraid to ask for help:
I honestly think I'm doing very well with Olivia. A lot of things just feel natural. However, I didn't realize how lucky I was to have help the first three weeks of her life. Sean was with me the first two weeks and my mother helped me out half days for the third. I felt great! It was nice to be able to pass a fussy Olivia off so I could make a bottle before she started screaming or to have someone else entertain her when she was awake because you just can't focus anymore. Help is necessary. I couldn't have survived. Now I need to work on asking for help when I need. When Sean comes home from work, I need to specifically ask him what I need help with. Just like during our IVF cycles, he does not naturally know how to help. "Please wash the bottles, please play with Olivia and keep her awake (a near impossible task), please wake up and handle this feeding because I'm going nuts." This is just the start of the help I will need; I'm sure it's just going to become more difficult.
9. Be better prepared than a boyscout:
There has been more than one time I have already been caught without something necessary. First it was a bottle. I was only going out for a little bit, so I didn't need a bottle right? Wrong. Errands take three times as long with an infant and I ended up driving home with a screaming newborn in the car. I also didn't remember to bring a pacifier so there was no way for me to comfort the poor little munchkin. I made sure that the diaper bag was totally stocked, so I wouldn't be stuck in a bad situation again. Or so I thought. Fast forward about a week to a get together at my parents. Olivia has a rather smelly bowel movement that couldn't be contained by her diaper. Her entire outfit had to be changed, but of course I had one in my diaper bag. Of course not! Why would I think of that? Luckily my aunt had given her some clothes that day, and even though they were 6 month size, we fit her in them so she wouldn't have to wear a towel. I can tell you that I keep at least one outfit in the diaper at all times. I'm sure this lesson will continue to be learned as she grows. As well as I think I stock the diaper bag, I have a feeling I will always be missing something.
10. Enjoy your angel:
The best part of the last few weeks is just having Olivia. I can't believe she is here already. I could just hold her forever. Even when she is screaming (and I'm crying), I just love her so much. Well the three years of infertility were incredibly difficult, they were totally worth it because we got Olivia out of the deal.
Here are a few new pictures for you to enjoy:
As many of you know, I do the best when I know what the day will bring. I like having a schedule and following it (maybe that is what makes a good teacher). After reading and talking to our pediatrician, I was confident that Olivia would eat every two-three hours and then play for 30-90 minutes and then nap. HA! That type of routine belongs in a fantasy world with wands, horcruxes and platform 9 3/4s. Sometimes she will eat every three hours and sometimes she eats every hour and throws a fit if I don't feed her. Sometimes she wants to play for hours after she eats and sometimes she falls asleep before even finishing her bottle. Some days start off good. She wakes up, eats and plays and then sleeps until about 2.5 hours after her feeding. She exhibits hunger signs so I try to feed her and she drinks a whopping 1/2 ounce and then passes out. There goes that schedule. I do plan on talking to the doctor next week about what type of schedule I should be trying to get her on though I have a feeling her real routine will come when I go back to work. I mean I don't even have a routine right now, unless you count staying in pjs until Sean gets home and showering when possible.
2. Bed time as exercise routine:
Ah the bed time routine! The miracle that will get your child to sleep! Right now our bedtime routine consists of Olivia fussing and crying for an hour while I walk circles around the house and Sean turns up the volume on the TV. Then I finally get her relaxed enough that she will take a bottle, so we rock while she eats and I read a story or two. Normally during this time, she is fighting to stay awake, so I rock her a bit more and once she is "asleep" I put her down gently in her crib, put the sleep sheep sound machine on and silently leave the room. I get on the couch or in bed and in less than five minutes she is screaming again. Cue me getting out of bed, trying to comfort her in the crib to no avail and finally rocking her. Not long after she is asleep in my arms and I gently put her in her crib, put on the sleep sheep sound machine and silently leave the room. I get on the couch or in bed and in less than five minutes she is screaming. This goes on for a good 30 minutes to an hour with Sean and I taking turn. Normally it ends with me in tears begging my poor little girl to tell me what she wants. Normally it is something we have offered 100 times throughout this process, such as reswadling, some more formula or a pacifier. By the time she falls asleep, she is sleeping peacefully but my nerves are fried and I can't fall asleep even though I have made about 20 trips up the stairs. Luckily she is sleeping between 3 and 4 hours at time so I can at least get some sleep.
3. Video monitors - Gift from God or from the Devil:
When Sean and I were registering, we decided that we would spend some extra money and go for the video monitor. We figured that it would help us keep a better eye on her. I'm not sure if the video monitor was such a good purchase or not. Yes, it allows me to keep an eye on her while she sleeps and stops me from going into her room constantly to make sure she is still breathing (though I do still have to check at least once a nap). I also use to check on her when she starts to fuss. It gives me a good idea about whether I need to go into or if she was just fussing in her sleep. However, there are definitely times that this creation is definitely from the devil to torture new parents who can't sleep. Many times at night she will be WIDE awake in her crib and just sort of looking around. If we had an audio only monitor, I would never know about these periods, which normally occur right after she get puts down. However I can see her staring at the camera. I swear she knows it's there and she knows that I'm on the other end watching and willing her to sleep. It is almost as if she is taunting me. "Ha ha Mom. You thought I was asleep, but I wasn't. It was all a trick and I'm going start screaming at any time." It is like she is playing a game with me, but no matter how much I want to I cannot turn on the screen until I see her eyes close.
4. Hot meals are a luxury:
Another thing Olivia seems to know instinctively is when my food is ready. She can be mid-nap and just as my food is ready she is wide awake and wants to eat herself or is just being fussy. Other than the times I have been at my parents and at the hospital, I don't think I have had a hot dinner since she was born. Now that she likes her bounce seat, I can normally get a semi-warm meal after I make her happy. From talking to other moms, I'm thinking that this will continue to be a luxury for the near future and when I do get to have a warm meal again I will be sharing it with her.
5. Too many days in the house creates a cranky mommy (and baby):
I have never been someone who has been happy sitting around the house. A day or even two can be nice, but more than that makes me cranky. Add no sleep to that and you better watch out. I have read all about the warnings about taking a baby out too early, but I'm sorry I just can't stay cooped up in the house. I was at the mall under a week old and I ended up fine (except for my slight shopping addiction). Olivia was out at 5 days old because I just needed out. Two days is my limit staying in and that is stretching it sometimes.
6. Sleep when baby sleeps is a myth:
I have yet to figure out how to accomplish this one. At first I was too paranoid to sleep. All that pre-baby education was great except it made me scared shitless of SIDS. After I relaxed from that, I just wanted to look at her while she sleeps. With the exception of nighttime, I don't think she slept anywhere but on me or someone else for a good week and a half. Now I have gotten to the point that I try to put her down when she naps and even try to get to nap in her crib at least once a day, so that gives me tons of time to rest right? Wrong. I have this nagging urge to make sure the house is picked up (the real cleaning I leave to my cleaning lady that I have every other week until the end of the year). Then there are times that I would like to actual eat (something I don't do much of anymore) and then there are even times I want to cook or bake (gasp). This is worse than nesting. I can't just seem to lay down and sleep. When I get to the point that I'm relaxed enough to actually nap, guess what? She wakes up five minutes later. All part of that newborn ESP I think. If anyone actually has mastered this, please let me know.
7. Everything can be done in steps:
I have yet to find anything that can't be done in steps and often very little steps: reading, phone conversations, dishes, even blogging. It seems that everything gets done now in parts. I may have 20 minutes here and then 5 minutes there. I don't know how many times I have had to stop and start something. The other day I jumped into shower and just as I got in, Olivia started screaming. I quickly washed my body and jumped out. I then spent a good twenty minutes wrapped in my bathrobe because I just didn't have time to get really dressed. I didn't get to washing and blow drying my hair until the next day; a process which took a good two hours. Now this blog is on session number 5 over the course of 3 days. Hopefully I can finish it now.
8. Don't be afraid to ask for help:
I honestly think I'm doing very well with Olivia. A lot of things just feel natural. However, I didn't realize how lucky I was to have help the first three weeks of her life. Sean was with me the first two weeks and my mother helped me out half days for the third. I felt great! It was nice to be able to pass a fussy Olivia off so I could make a bottle before she started screaming or to have someone else entertain her when she was awake because you just can't focus anymore. Help is necessary. I couldn't have survived. Now I need to work on asking for help when I need. When Sean comes home from work, I need to specifically ask him what I need help with. Just like during our IVF cycles, he does not naturally know how to help. "Please wash the bottles, please play with Olivia and keep her awake (a near impossible task), please wake up and handle this feeding because I'm going nuts." This is just the start of the help I will need; I'm sure it's just going to become more difficult.
9. Be better prepared than a boyscout:
There has been more than one time I have already been caught without something necessary. First it was a bottle. I was only going out for a little bit, so I didn't need a bottle right? Wrong. Errands take three times as long with an infant and I ended up driving home with a screaming newborn in the car. I also didn't remember to bring a pacifier so there was no way for me to comfort the poor little munchkin. I made sure that the diaper bag was totally stocked, so I wouldn't be stuck in a bad situation again. Or so I thought. Fast forward about a week to a get together at my parents. Olivia has a rather smelly bowel movement that couldn't be contained by her diaper. Her entire outfit had to be changed, but of course I had one in my diaper bag. Of course not! Why would I think of that? Luckily my aunt had given her some clothes that day, and even though they were 6 month size, we fit her in them so she wouldn't have to wear a towel. I can tell you that I keep at least one outfit in the diaper at all times. I'm sure this lesson will continue to be learned as she grows. As well as I think I stock the diaper bag, I have a feeling I will always be missing something.
10. Enjoy your angel:
The best part of the last few weeks is just having Olivia. I can't believe she is here already. I could just hold her forever. Even when she is screaming (and I'm crying), I just love her so much. Well the three years of infertility were incredibly difficult, they were totally worth it because we got Olivia out of the deal.
Here are a few new pictures for you to enjoy:
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Presenting Miss Olivia Natalie!
I have been meaning to post to update you on the end of my pregnancy, but then little Miss Olivia decided that she couldn't wait any longer. She arrived on Monday October 8th at 11:05 AM. She weighed 6 lbs 7.5 oz and was 19 inches long. She is such a good little baby. We really lucked out. She is such a snuggler and loves to be held by both Mommy and Daddy. It is amazing how our life can be totally turned around by a little girl who barely fits in newborn clothing. It seems all we do is look at her, take pictures of her and talk about her. I still can't believe that after all our struggles our little princess is here. It makes all the pain and all the tears worth it. I would go through all of it again if it meant that I would end with her.
We are all beginning to adjust to our new roles, including the cats. Sean is a great help and nothing is better than being elsewhere in the house and hear him talking or singing to Olivia. She is so lucky to have such a fantastic Daddy. Even the cats are doing well with her. They like to be near her, but they pretty much ignore her. We will see what they are like once she becomes mobile and begins chasing them. Overall, she is sleeping and eating well. She easily downs a 2 oz bottle and we are planning on upping the amount today. She is a really good sleep, though we had a slightly tough first few days at home. We originally planned to put her in a pack 'n play bassinet in our room and we tried it for the first two nights. There were lots of tears over those two nights, both from baby and from Mom. On Friday, I really needed to nap so I put her down in her crib for a nap. She didn't fuss at all and slept for an hour and a half. We decided to try her in her crib at night. Well, she loves her own bed. For the last two nights she has slept in her crib from about 9 PM to 8 AM waking about 3 or 4 times. Hopefully she continues to be such a good little sleeper.
I'm going to include my birth story below for those who want to read it. I promise I won't make it too graphic. For those of you who want to skip it, here are some pictures of my little princess.
Birth Story:
I went to bed early on Saturday (10/6) because I was absolutely exhausted. I had gone to baby shower that day and it took a lot out of me. (Ironically, I was worried about going since it was over an hour away and my OB said it was fine since I wouldn't be 38 weeks until Sunday). About 12:30 I woke up and felt a slight gush. I was sure I peed my pants. I stood up and could still feel dripping. I went into the bathroom and my underwear and pj pants are soaked. I realize that it was probably from my water breaking. I shouted to Sean that I thought my water broke and I had to call the OB but to start waking up because we may be heading into the hospital. Sure enough that was the case, we were the hospital by 1:30 AM Sunday.
I went into L&D triage and the resident checked me; sure enough my water has broken and I was staying the hospital for the duration even though I was only a "fingertip" dilated. They brought us to a L&D room and set us up. Sean (who never truly woke up) got comfortable on the couch and passed out, but I couldn't fall asleep. Even the nurses kept commenting on how awake and bright eyed I was. I was so sure something had to happen soon, right? Wrong. There were no contractions or anything.
Come noon on Sunday (10/7) contractions hadn't really started yet, so they decided to start Pitocin at 1. Once again I thought it wouldn't be a long because in our birth class we were told that they would deliver the baby within 24 hours of the water breaking. I thought I was halfway there. Wrong again! The rest of the afternoon was sort of slow and uneventful, except for when Olivia's heartbeat began jumping into the 180-190s bpm. The doctor figured I was getting dehydrated so they pumped me full of fluids and sure enough her heartbeat dropped into its normal 140-150 range.
Contractions began around 5ish and continued to slowly come throughout the night. By 1 AM, I was ready for some pain meds. The resident on call checked me and I'm still a "fingertip" dilated. WTF! Definitely not what I was expecting. I think this is the first time tears started to come. It had been 24 hours since my water broke and no real progress! I couldn't get an epidural yet, so they gave me a narcotic to help take the edge off. It worked and I was able to get a couple hours of sleep. Two hours later it had worn off and I needed something else. The resident checked me again and I was only 3 cm dilated "if that much". Cue total break down. I was in pain and didn't want another narcotic that will just wear off. I wanted this baby out since it is past 24 hours, but I would rather not have a c-section. The nurse definitely came to my aid and talked with doctor and convinced him that an epidural right now would allow me to get some sleep and recharge enough to finish the process.
The anesthesiologist came in not long after to give me the epidural. It definitely hurt more than I thought it would, but this pain was definitely worth it. I was very grateful until we realized it didn't fully take on my left side. The contractions were so bad and they radiated through my hip that I couldn't comfortably lay down, but because of the epidural I couldn't really move. After a few hours of trying to fix it by giving some extra amounts of the medication attached to my epidural, the anesthesiologist came back in and shot something else in through my epidural. I finally got some sleep. Keep in mind Sean is asleep on the couch for a majority of this time.
When I woke up the next morning about 7, the pressure the from the contraction was definitely greater but still not enough that they wanted to check dilation again. I was getting really frustrated and just wanted an end. Once again I was in tears thinking that this painful journey may not come to an end anytime soon. The nurse went and got the doctor to talk options with me. He would like to wait another 4-6 hours before talking about a c-section but would give me one right now if I wanted it. This really wasn't the answer I had hoped for, but after talking with Sean and the resident on call (ironically the one who checked me during triage) we decided to give it some time and then talk. By 1 that day if there was no baby I would request a c-section.
Sean doesn't do well sitting around all day no matter where we are, so for both of our sanity, he headed home to do a few things. So that I wouldn't be alone, my mother came to sit with me for a bit. After a while she notices that my contractions began coming more quickly and were definitely stronger, so we decided to time them. They were coming about every two minutes and lasting about a minute to a minute an a half and even with the epidural the pressure was so intense it was painful. The nurse came in minutes later to check on me because she noticed this new pattern and she decided to call the resident to check me out. While we waited, my mom called Sean and told him to start heading back. He had one more quick errand to do so we said to do it and then come. The resident checked me and kept saying "Oh my..Oh my". It turns out I was fully dilated and she could see LO head which was covered in hair. I was ready to push! My mom calls Sean and tells him to hurry up. Luckily he was only about 5 minutes away at the time.
Right before Sean shows up, I start to get very nauseated and end up throwing up a little (thanks Mom for holding my puke bucket!). The nurse takes my temperature and I'm running a low grade fever, so the NICU team is called in (they were already put on alert because my water broke so long ago) and I'm started on antibiotics. The nurse lets me know that Olivia will have to go to the NICU team before I get to hold her and she hopes that is okay. She really looked like she was waiting for me say "No it was not okay". I really can't imagine how a mother would not want to do do everything possible to make sure her baby is safe even if it means not being able hold her within the first five minutes of her life. However according to my nurses I was a very easy going patient throughout my stay.
Sean comes running through the door minutes later and my mom heads out to the waiting room so she can come back once Olivia is finally here. It is now about 10:30, and I begin to push. I was waiting for this to be a long process, but at 11:05 Olivia was born. I definitely know the birth process hurt and I have a second degree tear, but I honestly don't remember how much. Just seeing her come out and be healthy made me forget it all. She was quickly given over to the NICU team to be checked out, but I could see her across the room. She was beautiful already. Within moments, Sean was able to go over and touch her and take pictures and I was stitched up. Once things were cleaned up, I had Sean go out and get my mother, who in the meantime had got my father to come out. They all come in to see my little angel. It isn't long before I was finally able to hold her. I had to give her back quickly though because she needed to head to the nursery to her first round of antibiotics because of my fever. While she was in the nursery, the nurse helped to move us to our postpartum room. By the time we go there and got settled, Olivia was brought into us.
The rest of our two day stay was pretty relaxed. It was amazing how quickly I became accustomed to her and how easy it was for me to take care of her. Even after the long delivery, I felt good and was healing well. It was a long 35 hours, but it was totally worth it.
We are all beginning to adjust to our new roles, including the cats. Sean is a great help and nothing is better than being elsewhere in the house and hear him talking or singing to Olivia. She is so lucky to have such a fantastic Daddy. Even the cats are doing well with her. They like to be near her, but they pretty much ignore her. We will see what they are like once she becomes mobile and begins chasing them. Overall, she is sleeping and eating well. She easily downs a 2 oz bottle and we are planning on upping the amount today. She is a really good sleep, though we had a slightly tough first few days at home. We originally planned to put her in a pack 'n play bassinet in our room and we tried it for the first two nights. There were lots of tears over those two nights, both from baby and from Mom. On Friday, I really needed to nap so I put her down in her crib for a nap. She didn't fuss at all and slept for an hour and a half. We decided to try her in her crib at night. Well, she loves her own bed. For the last two nights she has slept in her crib from about 9 PM to 8 AM waking about 3 or 4 times. Hopefully she continues to be such a good little sleeper.
I'm going to include my birth story below for those who want to read it. I promise I won't make it too graphic. For those of you who want to skip it, here are some pictures of my little princess.
Birth Story:
I went to bed early on Saturday (10/6) because I was absolutely exhausted. I had gone to baby shower that day and it took a lot out of me. (Ironically, I was worried about going since it was over an hour away and my OB said it was fine since I wouldn't be 38 weeks until Sunday). About 12:30 I woke up and felt a slight gush. I was sure I peed my pants. I stood up and could still feel dripping. I went into the bathroom and my underwear and pj pants are soaked. I realize that it was probably from my water breaking. I shouted to Sean that I thought my water broke and I had to call the OB but to start waking up because we may be heading into the hospital. Sure enough that was the case, we were the hospital by 1:30 AM Sunday.
I went into L&D triage and the resident checked me; sure enough my water has broken and I was staying the hospital for the duration even though I was only a "fingertip" dilated. They brought us to a L&D room and set us up. Sean (who never truly woke up) got comfortable on the couch and passed out, but I couldn't fall asleep. Even the nurses kept commenting on how awake and bright eyed I was. I was so sure something had to happen soon, right? Wrong. There were no contractions or anything.
Come noon on Sunday (10/7) contractions hadn't really started yet, so they decided to start Pitocin at 1. Once again I thought it wouldn't be a long because in our birth class we were told that they would deliver the baby within 24 hours of the water breaking. I thought I was halfway there. Wrong again! The rest of the afternoon was sort of slow and uneventful, except for when Olivia's heartbeat began jumping into the 180-190s bpm. The doctor figured I was getting dehydrated so they pumped me full of fluids and sure enough her heartbeat dropped into its normal 140-150 range.
Contractions began around 5ish and continued to slowly come throughout the night. By 1 AM, I was ready for some pain meds. The resident on call checked me and I'm still a "fingertip" dilated. WTF! Definitely not what I was expecting. I think this is the first time tears started to come. It had been 24 hours since my water broke and no real progress! I couldn't get an epidural yet, so they gave me a narcotic to help take the edge off. It worked and I was able to get a couple hours of sleep. Two hours later it had worn off and I needed something else. The resident checked me again and I was only 3 cm dilated "if that much". Cue total break down. I was in pain and didn't want another narcotic that will just wear off. I wanted this baby out since it is past 24 hours, but I would rather not have a c-section. The nurse definitely came to my aid and talked with doctor and convinced him that an epidural right now would allow me to get some sleep and recharge enough to finish the process.
The anesthesiologist came in not long after to give me the epidural. It definitely hurt more than I thought it would, but this pain was definitely worth it. I was very grateful until we realized it didn't fully take on my left side. The contractions were so bad and they radiated through my hip that I couldn't comfortably lay down, but because of the epidural I couldn't really move. After a few hours of trying to fix it by giving some extra amounts of the medication attached to my epidural, the anesthesiologist came back in and shot something else in through my epidural. I finally got some sleep. Keep in mind Sean is asleep on the couch for a majority of this time.
When I woke up the next morning about 7, the pressure the from the contraction was definitely greater but still not enough that they wanted to check dilation again. I was getting really frustrated and just wanted an end. Once again I was in tears thinking that this painful journey may not come to an end anytime soon. The nurse went and got the doctor to talk options with me. He would like to wait another 4-6 hours before talking about a c-section but would give me one right now if I wanted it. This really wasn't the answer I had hoped for, but after talking with Sean and the resident on call (ironically the one who checked me during triage) we decided to give it some time and then talk. By 1 that day if there was no baby I would request a c-section.
Sean doesn't do well sitting around all day no matter where we are, so for both of our sanity, he headed home to do a few things. So that I wouldn't be alone, my mother came to sit with me for a bit. After a while she notices that my contractions began coming more quickly and were definitely stronger, so we decided to time them. They were coming about every two minutes and lasting about a minute to a minute an a half and even with the epidural the pressure was so intense it was painful. The nurse came in minutes later to check on me because she noticed this new pattern and she decided to call the resident to check me out. While we waited, my mom called Sean and told him to start heading back. He had one more quick errand to do so we said to do it and then come. The resident checked me and kept saying "Oh my..Oh my". It turns out I was fully dilated and she could see LO head which was covered in hair. I was ready to push! My mom calls Sean and tells him to hurry up. Luckily he was only about 5 minutes away at the time.
Right before Sean shows up, I start to get very nauseated and end up throwing up a little (thanks Mom for holding my puke bucket!). The nurse takes my temperature and I'm running a low grade fever, so the NICU team is called in (they were already put on alert because my water broke so long ago) and I'm started on antibiotics. The nurse lets me know that Olivia will have to go to the NICU team before I get to hold her and she hopes that is okay. She really looked like she was waiting for me say "No it was not okay". I really can't imagine how a mother would not want to do do everything possible to make sure her baby is safe even if it means not being able hold her within the first five minutes of her life. However according to my nurses I was a very easy going patient throughout my stay.
Sean comes running through the door minutes later and my mom heads out to the waiting room so she can come back once Olivia is finally here. It is now about 10:30, and I begin to push. I was waiting for this to be a long process, but at 11:05 Olivia was born. I definitely know the birth process hurt and I have a second degree tear, but I honestly don't remember how much. Just seeing her come out and be healthy made me forget it all. She was quickly given over to the NICU team to be checked out, but I could see her across the room. She was beautiful already. Within moments, Sean was able to go over and touch her and take pictures and I was stitched up. Once things were cleaned up, I had Sean go out and get my mother, who in the meantime had got my father to come out. They all come in to see my little angel. It isn't long before I was finally able to hold her. I had to give her back quickly though because she needed to head to the nursery to her first round of antibiotics because of my fever. While she was in the nursery, the nurse helped to move us to our postpartum room. By the time we go there and got settled, Olivia was brought into us.
The rest of our two day stay was pretty relaxed. It was amazing how quickly I became accustomed to her and how easy it was for me to take care of her. Even after the long delivery, I felt good and was healing well. It was a long 35 hours, but it was totally worth it.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
35/35
35 weeks pregnant & 35 days left!
I really can't believe that time as flown so quickly. It seems like it took me FOREVER to get pregnant and when we got that BFP on February 13th, I was sure it would feel like forever to get this close. However it has flown. I can't believe that in about a month Olivia will be here. I think we're pretty much ready for her, at least physically.
My shower was the beginning of August and it was absolutely amazing. It was so great to be able to celebrate with all my family and friends. Everyone was so generous, and we have really gotten everything we need. With the exception of a few extra sheets and some odds and ends, we are all set for her to arrive.
The nursery is pretty much all set, except for one shelf and a picture that still needs to be put up. There are a number of boxes and things that need to go into the basement when it is completed, but they are neatly stacked in the corner so they aren't bothering me (that much).
For the last few weeks, Sean and I have been going to our birth and prepare for baby classes. I'm surprised that Sean actually stays focused for most of the two hours and will often mention information he learned throughout the week. It is nice to have him go through this with me and to help me make any decisions, such as the importance of an epidural. It took lots of drugs to get Olivia into me and it will take drugs to get her out. We also took a new baby class last week, which went over some of the simple things of how to take care of a baby after you get her home. It was very helpful and will hopefully keep us from calling our mothers obsessively once Olivia comes home. We have two more weeks of our birth classes left, a breastfeeding class and a infant cpr class.
The only thing I'm still not sure of is whether or not I want to breastfeed. I'm not mentioning this to open a dialogue about why I should breastfeed, because I know all the benefits, believe me I have done my research. I'm just trying to get my thoughts in line. I'm almost certain that I will not be breastfeeding, or at least exclusively, once I return to work. With my work schedule I would be pumping during my only free period and/or lunch everyday. While some women are fine with this, I know that not having these time periods to get work done and to decompress will just stress me out. That being said, I'm still unsure of what I want to do prior to that. I know all the positives of breastfeeding, and I know all the negatives; I just can't decide which works best for me. While I like the idea of my child getting all nutrients from me and that it is free, I also like the idea of allowing others to have the bonding time and to give me some opportunities to get other things done, like showering. I like the idea of not having to worry where I am and trying to find a secluded place to breastfeed. I know it is a perfectly natural thing, but I will not be comfortable feeding in a restaurant or in the middle of the mall. This is not to say that I have anything against it, but it is just not for me. To be honest, the main reason I'm still thinking of breastfeeding is because that is what I'm "supposed" to do. I'm not sure if that is best reason for me to make this choice. Like I said earlier, we are going to a breastfeeding class which I hope will give me more conviction one way or the other. Right now I plan on going into it with an open mind. If I decide to try it and end up sticking with it, great! If I try it and it just isn't for me and I switch to formula, great! If I decide to go straight formula, great!
I guess whether we are ready or not Olivia will come when she wants. I can't wait to hold her in my arms and see who she looks like. Crazy as it seems, I can't wait for those late night feedings when it is just her and I in the quiet of the house.
I really can't believe that time as flown so quickly. It seems like it took me FOREVER to get pregnant and when we got that BFP on February 13th, I was sure it would feel like forever to get this close. However it has flown. I can't believe that in about a month Olivia will be here. I think we're pretty much ready for her, at least physically.
The nursery is pretty much all set, except for one shelf and a picture that still needs to be put up. There are a number of boxes and things that need to go into the basement when it is completed, but they are neatly stacked in the corner so they aren't bothering me (that much).
For the last few weeks, Sean and I have been going to our birth and prepare for baby classes. I'm surprised that Sean actually stays focused for most of the two hours and will often mention information he learned throughout the week. It is nice to have him go through this with me and to help me make any decisions, such as the importance of an epidural. It took lots of drugs to get Olivia into me and it will take drugs to get her out. We also took a new baby class last week, which went over some of the simple things of how to take care of a baby after you get her home. It was very helpful and will hopefully keep us from calling our mothers obsessively once Olivia comes home. We have two more weeks of our birth classes left, a breastfeeding class and a infant cpr class.
The only thing I'm still not sure of is whether or not I want to breastfeed. I'm not mentioning this to open a dialogue about why I should breastfeed, because I know all the benefits, believe me I have done my research. I'm just trying to get my thoughts in line. I'm almost certain that I will not be breastfeeding, or at least exclusively, once I return to work. With my work schedule I would be pumping during my only free period and/or lunch everyday. While some women are fine with this, I know that not having these time periods to get work done and to decompress will just stress me out. That being said, I'm still unsure of what I want to do prior to that. I know all the positives of breastfeeding, and I know all the negatives; I just can't decide which works best for me. While I like the idea of my child getting all nutrients from me and that it is free, I also like the idea of allowing others to have the bonding time and to give me some opportunities to get other things done, like showering. I like the idea of not having to worry where I am and trying to find a secluded place to breastfeed. I know it is a perfectly natural thing, but I will not be comfortable feeding in a restaurant or in the middle of the mall. This is not to say that I have anything against it, but it is just not for me. To be honest, the main reason I'm still thinking of breastfeeding is because that is what I'm "supposed" to do. I'm not sure if that is best reason for me to make this choice. Like I said earlier, we are going to a breastfeeding class which I hope will give me more conviction one way or the other. Right now I plan on going into it with an open mind. If I decide to try it and end up sticking with it, great! If I try it and it just isn't for me and I switch to formula, great! If I decide to go straight formula, great!
I guess whether we are ready or not Olivia will come when she wants. I can't wait to hold her in my arms and see who she looks like. Crazy as it seems, I can't wait for those late night feedings when it is just her and I in the quiet of the house.
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